The alternate ending and sequel to Autumn Leaf. Stephanie made a stupid mistake. And now it's time to pay. Cupcakes beware. Read on your own peril.
Genre: Drama/Angst
Published: 03-03-12, Updated: 04-09-12
Chapters: 18, Words: 6,3303
Chapter 1: Twisting
Twisting
She picks up her phone with her trembling hand and calls him. She's now 8 weeks pregnant. She doesn't know and can't be sure who the father is. She can only pray it is his.
Chapter 2: Twirling
Twirling
She musters all her courage and then says into her phone in a tiny broken voice, "I..I'm pregnant."
His breathing remains even instead of quickening, and his silence almost kills her. Despair and shame engulf her the moment he softly asks, "And?"
"And I...I don't..." She can't finish the sentence. She slept with the two men in her life within 24 hours. And now she's pregnant and has no idea who her child's father is. Tears start rolling down her face like two silent icy rivers. She wasn't brought up and raised to end up like this. She always calls Joyce Barnhardt a skank. Now look at her. She almost laughs out loud. A slap in her face. The Irony of Life. Poetic justice. She wonders if her mother will faint. She wonders if her father will drop his fork and knife on the plate. She wonders if she will look good in a maternity dress. She wonders if he has already regretted the day they met.
And she starts crying out loud upon hearing his gentle voice, "Be there in 10."
Chapter 3: Crumbling
Crumbling
The
man with the permanent 5 o'clock shadow lets himself into the shabby
2nd floor apartment and stands frozen in the shadow of the doorway
feeling like dying. All of a sudden he doesn't know any more why he
loves and wants and waits for her all these year. He then abruptly
realizes she's not that different from the naïve 6-year-old who followed
him into his father's dark isolated garage that hot summer day, or the
willing 16-year-old who did exactly as she was told another humid summer
evening 10 years later. He wonders when she is going to tell him. He
wonders if she will ever tell him. He wonders if she really or has ever
loved him. He wonders if the child is his. And he starts hating himself.
He starts hating her, and the other man in her life. He starts
regretting all the choices he made for his future life. He regrets all
the dreams and hopes he has about his future happiness.
He wishes
he can just walk away. He wishes he can leave as quietly and silently as
he came. He knows the dark cool man is coming over here. And he has no
intention to stay and watch them kiss and embrace. But he has never felt
so angry, so betrayed. He listens in to her anguish. He listens in to
her shame. He wants so much to smash all her worry, pain and regret. He
always wants a family. He always wants to be a daddy. And now what he
gets is this. He wants to cry. He wants to laugh. He wants to shake her
like a ragged doll and asks "Why me?". But he just turns around and
walks out of the building unnoticed without a backward glance.
He doesn't have the courage to stay and finds out if the child is his.
Chapter 4: Drifting
Drifting.
He sits in the one good chair in her small living room and asks calmly while she sits on her crappy couch fidgeting and looking anywhere but at him. She doesn't know what to say, because she still doesn't have an answer to this question. She hasn't been able to think straight for the last couple days. And she really misses him. It's been 31 days. She hasn't seen him ever since the night he walked out of he door without a backward glance. She didn't even run into him at the police station or the bonds office, and she didn't see his sleek black Porsche anywhere on the streets. And Trenton, as a matter of fact, is not such a big city. She blinks and squirms a little bit. She knows he's waiting. But her brain is empty. All she can think about right now is how much she wants to kiss him, hold him, and feel his warmth and steady heartbeat next to her cold shivering body. She isn't sure if she ever wants or can be a mother. It's too much a promise and responsibility for someone who is not even a good hamster owner. But the thought of having his baby growing inside her body gives her thrills. Will the child be a boy or a girl? Will the child looks like her or him? Will the child have his eyes? Will the child have his smile? Will the child have his smooth perfect skin? Will their child make his love come back to her with a diamond ring?
But what if it's Morelli's?
She is rendered breathless by sudden panic. She doesn't want to be like the Morelli women. She doesn't want to become her own mother. Dinner on table at 6 sharp every night. Thorough house cleaning every 2 weeks. 2 or 3 or 4 or even 5 kids to keep her busy for the rest of her life. For the rest of her life...The world around her blackens as she faints. He catches her effortlessly before she falls onto the floor.
And he still has no idea why he always has to be her hero.
Chapter 5: Floating
Floating
He wishes he knows what she has been thinking. Or does she ever really think? He thinks about her strange, almost sick obsession and definitely abnormal and twisted relationship with Morelli and can no longer hold back a frown. There's a way to make sure who her child's father is, but the test is risky for the 8-week fetus. And he honestly has not a clue what he's going to do if the child proves to be his. What if she's somehow really in love with Morelli? What if she doesn't want to keep the baby? What if she wants to raise his child with Morelli? Does he himself really want a baby? And what if the child is not his?
He places a hand over his suddenly tired eyes and wishes his life can stop being so complicated. But still he doesn't regret the day he first met her. Go figure. Ranger lets out another sigh, and goes back into the small bedroom to check on Stephanie Plum.
Chapter 6: Dancing
Dancing
He raises his brow slightly as the nervous giant of a man bravely gives him a brotherly pat on his shoulder. A rare full-on smile spreads across his face on its own accord. Maybe it's time to give Tank a raise.
Chapter 7: Engulfing
Engulfing
He always says he wants them to settle down, get married, and start their own family. But he never says or does anything when she looks away and quickly changes the subject. He always says he's now a matured and changed man and truly loves her. But he never ever objects when the other man in her fuck-up life steps up and helps her out. He never volunteers his help. But he's always there ready for wild steaming adult video sex when whatever trouble is solved. He sometimes thinks it's kind of funny that the one who's always doing all the dirty heavy work and bleeding both money and blood just to protect her is not the one who gets to fuck her. Hell, even Richard Gere didn't pay so much for Julia Roberts in that silly film. And he never ever blushes when his fellow cops tell him how lucky he is to have another man watch over and take such good care of his woman.
Of course he knows what they really mean. Of course he knows there's always been something between those two. He's not blind, deaf, stupid, or dead. He sure is not happy about this. But still he never ever confronts her about her true feelings about Ranger. And he never ever really tries his best to walk away. What if the child is his? He will have to marry her, will he not? What if the child is not his? He will have to give her up, won't he? Or will she ask him to marry her and raise Ranger's child with her? Christ! Is he only joking or does he really want to have children with her? Does he really mean it whenever he locks her with his melted chocolate bedroom eyes and tells her he loves her? Does he really mean it whenever he gives her his sexy charming smile and says he wants her to be the mother of his children? Does he really want to spend the rest of his life with a woman who always hides another man in her heart? Does he have that in him to love another man's child as his own? Can he trust her? Does he love her? Or is she just someone handy to have around whenever he's horny and hungry for some serious fun? And where the Hell did all these questions come from?
He curses out loud and in a sudden fit of anger throws the last empty beer can against the living room wall, and becomes more frustrated when his sleeping dog startles awake and yelps and runs away in panic to hide under the kitchen sink. Great. He stands up from the chewed up couch and walks upstairs to his messy bedroom. He has just started regretting knowing Stephanie Plum.
Chapter 8: Whispering
Whispering
She puts on her old loose pajamas and goes sit on his bed, and yawns. She feels drowsy, sleepy and happy after the delicious hearty meal and the hot long shower. She knows she needs to think things through. She knows she needs to get ready to face whatever difficulties caused by the two possibilities. She knows she needs to talk to him. But she's too tired, too exhausted. She climbs under the blanket, breathing in the lingering scent of Bvlgari on his pillows and quickly falls asleep.
And the nightmare that scared her awake in the dead of the night for the past two days does not return.
Chapter 9: Embracing
Embracing
She looks into his calm beautiful intelligent eyes, and all of a sudden the courage buried somewhere deep within her tattered, bruised soul wakes up, grabs hold of her heart, and makes her tells him quietly, "I'm sorry".
Yes, she knows she owes him an apology. She probably owes herself one, too. She thinks almost irrelevantly to herself while feeling glad and relieved that for once she's honest and smart enough not to hide her feelings. She then proceeds to tell him that she loves him, that she doesn't want to spend the rest of her life with Morelli even if the child later proves to be Morelli's, and that she also doesn't believe she has it in her to raise the child alone on her own. She stops right there and turns her eyes away. The glistening waterdrops on his perfect body are indeed very distracting. There's no need to say more. They both know what she is asking. They both know how much she is asking. She squares her shoulders and waits for his answer.
And they both know what his answer will be.
Chapter 10: Smothering
Smothering
He finishes shaving, gets dressed, locks his door firmly behind him and drives to her parking lot. He didn't stop at Pino's or Tasty Bakery to grab something for her. Her old dirty yellow Ford is still in front of the dumpster. Her small shabby apartment is silent. Her pet is nowhere to be seen. Her closet and drawers are half-empty. He knows where and whom she is with. He becomes angry right away even if he knows that's totally meaningless and not necessary. He knows he wants to end it, everything, right here right now. He knows he needs to walk away and save himself. But he's still unsure if he can let go just like that. So he sits down heavily on the crappy couch and starts waiting for someone who is already gone and won't be back. No, he doesn't cry. Tears are for women and sissies and he's a grown up matured man, Trenton's very own Italian Stallion. He just needs some time to figure out...to figure out whatever he has or never has with Stephanie Plum. He holds his aching head in his hands. And he doesn't even want to think about what he should do if Stephanie wants to raise his flesh and blood with someone else.
Maybe suing the birth control pill company will be a good start.
Chapter 11: Settling
Settling
She turns away from these unanswered questions and their frowning faces. They upset her and make her dizzy. She has made up her mind and told Ranger her decision. And now there's no turning back. She feels like a soaking wet lost puppy, shivering from hunger and cold and desperate. She has no choice but to follow the kind-hearted kid all the way home and force her way in. She knows he won't turn her down. She knows he won't say no. She knows he always does the right thing. She knows she's more than a noble priority and loving amusement to him. And now she prays he loves her still. Even if she knows crystal clear she probably doesn't deserve it. She knows she's selfish. But she just can't help it. She doesn't want to kill or give up the baby. Because she's Catholic and it may be his. And she wants a life with him. And she now knows for a fact that she doesn't want and never really loves Joe Morelli. They are at most friends with benefits. That's it. Love is never involved. Ever.
She musters all her remaining courage and dignity to look up at him, and nearly bursts into tears as he curtly nods and says in his usual steady calm voice.
"When's your next appointment with your OB?"
Chapter 12: Strengthening
Strengthening
Ranger dries himself with the towel and puts on his usual attire of fitting black shirt and cargo pants. He's really a busy man. He doesn't do relationship and marriage and babies because he likes it this way. It's much easier and less complicated. He doesn't want to come home to a howling baby and a weeping lonely wife. He doesn't want to waste his time and energy on finding a balance between his job and his personal life. He tried that once and failed. But now he's going to do that again, and this time he doesn't plan to fail. With love come duties and obligations. He must, and is willing to make necessary changes.
He picks out the nutrition supplements and Vitamins that have to be taken before meal and watches Stephanie swallow them with a frown on her face. He saw the desperation, self-loathing and shame in her eyes when she told him her decision. But he likes the determined resolution and unrelenting courage that shone through her worries and fears. And yes, he loves her still.
And now they both know Morelli will no longer be a problem between them.
Chapter 13: Concentrating
Concentrating
The baby is healthy and growing. They get married in a warm spring morning by a judge 18 days after she moved into his 7th floor apartment. He brings her to meet his grandmother and his parents the next day. His smiling father looks like an older version of him and doesn't say much. Both Grandma Rosa and his mother smack him on his head when they are leaving. They have dinner with her family that Friday at her parents'. Her mother bursts into tears at the sight of the Cartier diamond wedding ring around her ring finger. She's more than happy and relieved that her 30-something divorced younger daughter is finally once again married. Her new son-in-law may be a little dark and not Italian, but he sure is polite, good-mannered, nice-looking, has his own business, and Catholic. A mother really can't ask for more, can she? Her father looks up from his second helping of pot roast, gravy and mashed potatoes to cast a glance at her ring, gives them both a small nod, and goes back to his dinner right away while her grandma and sister begin making calls and spreading the news.
Friends, relatives and neighbors send their congratulations via phone calls during the weekend. Her cop friends give her big warm hugs and insist on paying for her doughnuts in her favorite bakery Monday morning. Her two sulking colleagues reluctantly accept the boxes of doughnuts and French chocolates and forgive her, and start fighting for the post of godmother. Her weasel of a cousin opens his office door and instead of bitching about the inconvenience her sudden resignation causes him, congratulates her almost sincerely.
Everyday she eats her healthy meals and swallows her pills and tablets on time, and does all the necessary exercise in the RangeMan gym with him. Every night she cuddles to his side, breathing in his scent, and falls asleep. She now knows how to blink back her tears when telling him "Don't get shot" every time he has to leave for some emergency in the middle of the night. She now knows the combination of his safe. She now knows his parents' and siblings' and in-laws' names. She now knows some of his childhood and Ranger days stories. She now knows that the Batcave is where his heart is.
And she's both glad and worried that Joe Morelli keeps his silence.
Chapter 14: Evaporating
Evaporating
Surely no sane man will ever want to marry a woman who's carrying another man's child. Morelli feels both bitter and hopeful as he tries his best to convince himself, but soon detects the dreadful, cheap taste of fear and disgust in his mouth when he recalls that he always told her Ranger was crazy, not exactly normal, and a loose cannon wired differently from your average adults. And the sad and embarrassing truth is, Morelli knows perfectly clear that instead of fair and true observation, he was speaking out of envy and jealousy. He's not happy that this younger and darker outsider is much richer and more successful than he is in his own home town. He has tried all he can to nose and snoop around, but still has not a clue where all those sleek black cars come from. And it makes him angrier and more depressed.
Of course Ranger can afford to raise someone else's child. He is financially and emotionally capable to do crazy stuff like this all the time. He gives Stephanie expensive cars after expensive cars after watching her blow them up or somehow get them destroyed as if money is nothing, and he allows another man to officially become the father of his only child. Morelli thins his lips in slight but obvious contempt. He, on the other hand, has only offered to lend Stephanie his car on several occasions. That's because, unlike Ranger, he earns decent money in decent ways, and he always—or tries whatever he can to follow the law and abide the rules. He has hopes, dreams and desires like everybody else, but he's a rational, regular human being who leads a decent, respectable life. He doesn't want to taint his badge and reputation and consequently jeopardize his career.
Joe Morelli knows he have to do something. He knows he needs to take action. He knows he should tell Stephanie he knows about the baby. He knows he should demand her to take a parental DNA test as soon as possible. He knows he will ask her to have an abortion should the child be his. He knows he will probably have regrets. He knows he will always have doubts. He wishes he knows what's the right decision to make. He wishes he knows what's the right thing to do. He's still stunned and shocked by the news of their marriage, and he doesn't have the courage or energy to deal with this.
And surely Ranger would not marry Stephanie if the child isn't his, right?
Right?
Chapter 15: Dissolving
Dissolving
Morelli feels anger rising in the pit of his stomach. He can clearly see the uncertainty and vulnerability in Stephanie eyes. He knows he's making her nervous and probably starting frightening her. He knows the morning crowd of the bakery are waiting for the show to begin, but all of a sudden he doesn't care that much. He is the victim here, and his ex-on-and-off girlfriend owes him an explanation. She can't just walk out of his life like this without saying a word. He has the right to know, after all, whether the child is his or not. They were technically together at that time. Stephanie has to tell him when and how and why she cheated on him with Ranger and for how long. She has to tell him why she thought he didn't need to know about the child, her decision, and everything else. She has to tell him if the child is truly Ranger's. She has to tell him why she called Ranger instead of him. He wants to know. He needs to know. And he has to hear the answers in Stephanie's own words. He's about to speak when he senses the sudden silence inside the bakery. He raises his eyes from Stephanie and looks into a pair of all too familiar midnight dark brown eyes.
Ranger.
Chapter 16: Disappearing
Disappearing
The corner of Ranger's lips tilts up slightly as he watches the fuming Italian tighten his jaw. Anger. Resentment. Envy. Hurt. Shame. And Fear. Joe Morelli is never difficult to read. The weird combination of his fiery Italian temper and indecisiveness may eventually harm both his career and personal life. But Morelli will have to find out and deal with his own problems and flaws since Ranger is not into giving free lessons to reluctant students. Maybe Stephanie does own Morelli an explanation. Maybe Morelli does have a right to know. Maybe Morelli does have a say in this. Maybe Morelli is the father of the baby. If Morelli is so badly in need of all the answers, all he has to do is speak up and ask away. Ranger thinks indifferently to himself as he almost casually takes his eyes off Morelli and looks down at Stephanie as she places a hand on his chest. He gives her a barely there yet assuring smile and again raises his eyes.
"Morelli." Ranger says quietly and curtly, and gently propels his wife toward the doughnut counter without waiting for the other man's response. And just as Ranger expected, Joe Morelli stares down at his shoes, silently counts to 10, and walks out of the bakery without a backward glance.
Chapter 17: Scent of Spring
Scent of Spring
3 days later, the result of the test comes back. The Batsperm won the battle. And the war.
~The End~
Chapter 18: Epilogue To Catch A Falling Star
~Epilogue~
To Catch A Falling Star...
Everyday,
every night, the same doubt eats at his heart, the very question
whispers in his head, and the face of the newborn child haunts him like a
ghost. He can't sleep. He can't eat. He can't focus on his job. He
can't concentrate on his life. He can't let go. He can't move on. He's
trapped in a dilemma. He's caught in between. He knows he needs to seek
the truth. But he's too afraid of the answer.Who does the child look like? He wonders.
Does the child have dark brown eyes?
Does the boy have dark olive skin?
Does the child have long eyelashes?
Does the child have bright, charming smile?
Does the child have deep brown wavy hair?
Is the little boy his flesh and blood?
Does he want to fight for child custody?
Is he ready to be a father?
What will people think?
What if the boy is not his?
What if the boy is really his?
He wants to know. He needs to know. He dares not know. He can't afford to know. Everyday, every night, the same doubt eats at his heart, the very question whispers in his head, and the face of the beautiful little boy haunts him like a ghost. He can't sleep. He can't eat. He can't focus on his job. He can't concentrate on his life. He can't let go. He can't move on. He's trapped in a dilemma. He's caught in between. He knows he needs to seek the truth. But he's too afraid of the answer. He wants to...but he can't...he just can't.
Wow, I'm reading through some of your older work and found this and I have to say how POWERFUL this was. The emotions were absolutely palpable. I could TASTE the fear and anxiety, the anger and resentment, the hurt and love, the lack of love and regret. Joe's lack of care of Stephanie and his final realization that he didn't really love her or want to marry her, but just sleep with her and let Ranger do all the "heavy lifting" was his own downfall. All he had to do was ask, but his pride and fear kept him from it.
ReplyDeleteOTOH, Ranger was able to work past his anger and frustration with Stephanie's lack of maturity and her indecision and accept her child along with taking care of the woman he loved, even if it wasn't his, because it was right and yes, Karma may have been having a bit of a joke on him. However, they both truly loved each other, and mistakes were made on both their parts. HE was mature enough to accept that and forgive her and just love her and take care of her, and she was finally able to be totally honest with him and tell him of her fears and what she DIDN'T want (Morelli or to EVER be a Morelli wife or a 'Burg style wife and mother) but that she couldn't do it on her own.
Truly, I always wondered if these characters were REAL people, if this scenario would have eventually come up and how they would have handled it. You did an incredibly wonderful job with each of the characters' perspectives and literally made us FEEL everything they were feeling and just know what they were thinking. You truly make your characters come to life and drag us, kicking and screaming into their emotions and lives.
Excellent writing. Fantastic work. Thank you so much for sharing it with us.
Maggie M.