Warning: Controversial theme. Stephanie makes a life-changing decision that eventually alters her future in unexpected ways.
Genre: Drama/Angst
Published: 02-08-12, Updated: 02-16-12
Chapters: 7, Words: 2,693
Chapter 1: Evening Falls
Evening Falls
She
blows her nose and dries her eyes. She has just made the most important
decision of her life. She may one day regret it, and she will never be
able to get rid of the guilt, but she knows for a fact that she really
has no other choice. It's either this or destroy everyone involved's
life. She can't let that happen to the people she cares and loves. And
most important of all, she doesn't want to have anything to do with him
any more. She doesn't want to see his face. She doesn't want to hear his
voice. She wants to erase everything happened between them. She wants
nothing else but to completely and thoroughly cut him out of her life.
And the only way to ensure that is to do this. Now.
Stephanie Plum
places a trembling hand on her still-flat stomach, opens her puffy
eyes, and calls Ranger to tell him that she's pregnant, and she wants an
abortion.
Chapter 2: Night Deepens
Night Deepens
Tears
fall down her sad tired face the instant she feels the familiar tingle
on the back of her neck. Now that she's pregnant, she knows without a
trace of doubt that what they have between them will never be the same.
She wants desperately to look straight into his sharp yet serene eyes
and tell him why she made her decision, but finds she doesn't have
enough courage and strength left. She gives out a helpless sob as strong
arms pull her into his warm gentle embrace. She always wants to be
Wonder Woman. She always wants to be smart, amazing, and brave. But now
take a look at her. A 30-something good-for-nothing who can barely make a
living. A permanent failure and disappointment who doesn't even have
control over her own body. A pregnant Catholic woman who can't wait to
get rid of her unborn child. And she only has herself to blame for this.
She's the one who chose to waste her life away on the wrong person,
like a brainless wench.
Ranger holds Stephanie tight in his arms
while she cries all her sorrow and misery out, cups her face in his
hands and holds her eyes captive when her tears are finally dry. He,
too, has made a difficult decision. "We can raise the child together."
Softly but firmly he tells her. "Morelli doesn't have to know."
Chapter 3: Darkness Ascends
Darkness Ascends
He
is anxious. And nervous. He doesn't like to sleep alone, and he really,
really misses their nights of hot steaming extra cheesy pizza, cold
beer, and mind-blowing wild animal sex. He casts another glance at the
box of too expensive chocolates and the dozen of beautiful yellow roses
in the passenger seat and prays that she will accept his apology and
forgive him. He hopes she has already realized that it was anger that
made him say those stupid, hateful words. He was just too upset. He was
just too damn frustrated. He just wanted to see her safe. He just wanted
to keep her away from danger. He never meant to hurt her feelings, or
her dignity, never. He swears. He sighs and runs a hand through his long
messy deep brown hair. He only wishes she will understand, and make
some necessary changes. The clock is ticking. He's gonna be 40 in a few
more years. He wants to have kids and start his own family. He can't
keep on fooling around and wasting his life away like this. He needs to
make her see reason and settle down with him.
He squares his
shoulders as the traffic light changes and turns his SUV onto her
street. His blood then turns cold when he's about to pull into her
parking lot. He parks his car across the street where he has a clear
view and stares at the familiar sleek black German car. He can feel
red-hot fury burning inside him. He can taste bile in his suddenly dry
mouth. A million emotions wildly run through his pounding head as he
sits there waiting in silence. He watches them walk out of the building
with her pet's cage under the black-clad man's arm. He watches her lean
into the man. He watches the man lovingly kiss her on the top of her
head. He watches the man open the car door for her and buckle her
seatbelt. He watches her smile up at the man. He finally sees red as his
blazing eyes recognizes her stuffed duffle bag, and steps on the gas.
Joe
Morelli's deep blue SUV slams into the Porsche Cayenne in full speed.
The impact breaks Ranger's rib. And Stephanie loses her baby.
Chapter 4: Twilight
Twilight
Stephanie
tries, but still can't dry her eyes, or feel the throbbing pain all
over her bruised body. Pain meds nowadays are truly amazing, and how
strange this numb yet sharp feeling is. She thinks dazedly and frowns at
herself amid tears. Is it really alright to feel both relieved and
guilty at the same time? Is it really OK to cry for the death of a child
you know perfectly you do not want? She never really wants to be a
mother, and she still don't want to have this child. So why did she feel
so empty all of a sudden and cry her eyes out for this dead...fetus? It
was not the fruit of her love. It was nothing but the consequence of
another night of irresponsible passion, a terrible mistake. Why should
she sacrifice and rob herself of every single thing she needs and wants
and ruin her life for the sake of this unwanted child? Why should she
let her pregnancy tear her away from her true self and the man she knew
she really wants, lock her up in a forced marriage with the wrong man,
and trap her into a life of regrets and misery? Did that make her a
sinner? Did that make her soulless? Is it wrong to do what is best for
yourself? Does she not have the right to control her own body? Does she
not have her own human rights? Does she not have a say in her own
freaking life? And why the Hell does she feel so guilty?
Stephanie
raises her hand and wipes away her tears, and allows herself a small
smile upon hearing the sound of Rex running on his wheel inside Ranger's
spacious kitchen. She knew Ranger meant every word he said, and she was
more than touched and grateful. But she also knew she couldn't do this
to the man she loves, to herself, or to the child. It wouldn't be fair
to the three of them. She was really not ready for a baby. She would
always look at the child's face and think of his bio-father. And she
simply couldn't spend the rest of her life like this.
I'm sorry. She places a hand on her belly and silently whispers a prayer for her dead first child.
Really, really sorry. Someday, someday she will finally be ready for a baby. But not now. Not now.
Chapter 5: Daybreak
Daybreak
He
likes his solitude, and enjoys his freedom. He's never into marriage,
nor wants any children. He made a mistake more than ten years ago, and
is still trying to make amend for that accident. He did the right thing.
He took his responsibility. He left his name on the birth certificate.
He distanced himself properly, and allowed another man to become the
father of his only daughter. He always pays child support on time, and
visits whenever invited. And, from time to time, he still wonders if he
really has the right to call her "his" daughter. He stands up from
behind his desk and frowns a little. His rib broke cleanly in one place,
but is still a nasty killer when he moves, and he didn't take his pain
meds. He needs to keep his head clear and his mind sharp. He has yet
another important decision to make. He enters his 7th floor apartment
and feels his lips twitch into a smile as his eyes fall upon the
curled-up wild-haired woman soundly asleep on the couch. He knows he's
only human, definitely not Batman, and probably not family material. But
still, he makes a habit to be her hero, and made that tough decision
when he received her call, and it didn't even take him long. He wants to
see her happy. He needs to see her happy. He didn't want to see her
suffer. He couldn't bare to see her tortured. And he was, and still is,
willing to make the necessary changes in his life and raise another
man's child. With her.
Something warm and soft but nevertheless
powerful fills Ranger's heart as he looks down at Stephanie's peaceful
pain-free sleeping but tear-stricken face. He closes his eyes and
listens to her even breathing. He can also hear that chubby little
rodent of hers running on its wheel like a Marathon Champion in his
spotless kitchen. And right at this moment, he makes his decision.
He's going to pay Morelli a visit.
Chapter 6: Eclipse
Eclipse
He
opens another can of beer and gulps it down. People are not joking when
they say warm beer tastes like piss. Vaguely he thinks and smiles to
himself as he belches. He throws away the empty can. He reaches for
another piece of cold stale pizza delivered hours ago. No, he's not
really hungry, but he wants to eat regularly like the normal human being
that he is. He takes a bite, chews, and swallows. He tries to moan like
Stephanie Plum but fails. He lets out a bark of raspy laughter and
opens another beer to mourn his totaled blue SUV. He has been suspended
indefinitely without pay. And they also took his driver's license away.
He misses his gun and badge. But he's not afraid. He's a good cop. And
good cops are never unprepared. Oh yes, he knows Ranger is coming. But
never fear, he's ready. Ready to do that crazy cocky Cuban bastard some
real damage. Ready to kick his Cuban ass. Ready to smash his Cuban
bones. Ready to put a bullet through his Cuban brain. And kill him. He
pats the loaded unregistered gun on his lap fondly as if patting a loyal
pet. Will she cries her heart out over Ranger's limp cold Cuban corpse
like she did with their dead baby? He wonders without the intended
satisfied grin and frowns. He has no clue whatsoever why he can't feel
happy. He has every right to be happy. He knows he does. He wants to
cheer. He wants to clap his hands in glee. He wants to do a happy dance.
He wants to yell "Good riddance!" over and over again. But he finds
that he can't. He really, really wants to. But somehow he can't.
He blinks his sudden moist eyes.
Does the brat have her eyes? He runs a trembling hand through his too long hair.
Does the child have her hair? He tilts back his head and closes his tired eyes.
Or will the kid have Ranger's eyes? He
clenches his fists and teeth upon thinking of that forbidden name,
takes a couple deep breaths, and hardens his heart. No. He doesn't gave a
damn if Ranger's brat is a boy or a girl.. He did what any normal man
would do. They left him no choice. He only did what he must. And they
DESERVE
it. Joe Morelli's eyes snap open as a sudden uneasy feeling grasps hold
of his heart. He sits up straight in his couch and immediately freezes
as he looks up into Ranger's calm blank face and sees his burning rage.
"She was not carrying my child." Ranger says quietly. And leaves.
Joe
Morelli sits motionless like a dummy in his dark smelly living room
listening to his own heart beating, and slowly grabs his gun, takes aim,
pulls the trigger. shoots a bullet through his brain. And kills
himself.
Chapter 7: New Moon
New Moon
What
was Joe Morelli thinking at the last minute of his life? What made he
make that decision to take his own life? Was it shock? Was it alcohol?
Or was the truth too painful and too much to bear? Did he feel regret?
Did he feel ashamed? Did he too feel that heart-shattering pain? Did he
deserve the truth? Did he deserve to die? Stephanie sometimes asks
herself these questions and wonders about the answers. She will then
give her shoulders a casual shrug, put the doubts behind, and resume her
life. She still feels sorry for the child. She does feel sorry for
Morelli and his family. But she never feel quilty about Morelli's death.
Maybe that's because all the love and affection she once had for him
died the moment he yelled into her face in their last break-up fight
that she was a 30-something good-for-nothing bounty hunter wannabe who
couldn't make a decent living on her own and had to suck charity money
from a crazy mercenary like a worthless whoring leech. Stephanie lets
out a sigh and once again tells herself to forget the resentment and
hatred she saw in Morelli's face when he spit out those hateful words.
She,
of course, didn't attend Morelli's funeral, and still has no plan to
visit his grave. They had done enough harm to each other over the years,
and their last fight was the last straw. The moment Stephanie slapped
Morelli across his face with all her strength and told him to get out of
her apartment and her life, she realized that they were really and
finally over, and there would be nothing left to remember fondly about
this sick relationship. They were never meant to be together. What they
really needed was to grow up, get rid of each other, and move on with
their separate lives. She was glad that she was the one to made the
first move and recognized the truth. After 18 days of serious thinking,
she mustered all her courage, jumped out of bed, and paid Ranger a
midnight visit in her pajamas, and finally told Ranger she loved him.
She almost died of anxiety and embrassment when Ranger remained silent
for a long minute, raised a brow, twitched his lips slightly, and told
her she was wearing two different shoes. Just as she was thinking about
digging a hole on Ranger's floor to bury herself alive, the Man of
Mystery pulled her into his arms, kissed her senseless, and told her he
loved her too. And then 2 days later, she found out she was pregnant...
Stephaniet
Manoso snaps of her thoughts as a soft tiny hand grasps hold of her
ring finger. She looks down and smiles at the beautiful little baby in
her lap. The child has his father's dark hair and dark eyes, and,
thankfully, his enchanting smile, but he likes ice cream, doughnuts, and
diamond wedding rings, just like his blue-eyed wild-haired mother. Her
smile deepens as she feels the familiar tingle the on the back of her
neck before hearing the door of the 7th floor apartment open. It is the
dusk of yet another bright, hot summer day, and now her husband, the man
she truly loves and vows to spend the rest of her life with, is home.
~The End~
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